Book review of "Thats What she said" by Joanne Lipman
Book 12/26 Leader are Learning series.
No, it is not Michael Scott from the TV show The Office finding a sexual innuendo in everything someone says or prepares and interaction to have the opportunity come up. It is a great book for any leader to read and understand women make a workplace better and there is evidence to prove it.
The sign of a good leader is to also be a good follower. I have been incredibly lucky to follow great female figures in my life and some of them were my leaders at work. I have been lucky enough to follow Christine Cobuzzi at DHL, Diane Abril at Mako, and Christine Clark at Stryker/Mako. I have also had the great pleasure of working alongside great female leaders and classmates like Danielle Armstrong, Melissa Lennon, Erin Dwyer, Lorraine Stanhope-Hirschberg, Jill McNair, Jennifer Smit, Patty Quinn McAuley, Fran McDaniel, Simi Naschel, Esther Sim, Ashlee Fuglio and many others. I have also had the opportunity to lead Natasha Siegel, Sue Ellen Morris, and a few others.
Whether it is in marketing products, services or building a new team, women make it better. However, many workplaces are not equal for female employees and many times women are underpaid and under-recognized for their accomplishments and tasks they perform. They are also stigmatized about certain gender-specific roles and questioned as to whether they can handle the work life balance of the job and family. Why is this question only being asked to women? If an employer asked a male employee that question would they be offended? I’m sure the reaction would be based on the man's Emotional Intelligence, but it should not be asked in the first place. Also, do you see women being interrupted during meetings? What do you do? Here are some key tips and takeaways that author Joanne Lipman put in the back of the book as a cheat sheet to help any leader succeed in the workplace and have a more gender equal and friendly environment for everyone.
Interrupt the interrupters
The data show that even Supreme Court Justices are interrupted regularly by male counterparts, so how do we stop it now?
Solution: Institute a “No interruptions” rule for everyone. Also, if a woman is cut in the conversation, cut off the interrupter.
Use amplification and brag buddies
Womens’ ideas often are not heard - until they are repeated by a man who gets the credit.
Solution: Amplify the original speaker, meaning if a woman has a great idea amplify it and make sure she gets credit and vice versa for the male counterpart brag buddy.
Diversify the interviewers, not just the applicants
More companies are adopting a Rooney Rule for the office, requiring a diverse slate of applicants for job openings, but bringing in female applicants is only a first step.
Solution: Mix things up by adding to the Rooney Rule by adding to a more balanced panel with female interviewers.
She’ll help your bottom line
Women are often boxed out of jobs or promotions because they aren’t “a good fit” or they are dismissed as “diversity hires” who are assigned a lower standard.
Solution: Marshall the facts. Adding women makes work groups more creative. Companies with female CFO’s make fewer, better acquisitions than male counterparts. Firms with more female board members outperform those with the least by almost every financial measure. Mixed groups can even solve a murder more accurately than single sex groups... If you want a recipe for success, add women.
She’s not “sorry,” she’s not “lucky,” and she’s not asking a question
Researchers have found women use qualifiers (“Sorry to bother you, but…) to make themselves less threatening to others. If they do act assertively they are penalized for it, considered bossy, bitchy, or difficult to work with.
Solution: Women are highly aware of these verbal tics and try to control themselves. But if they don't, just remember the next time a woman ends a sentence in a question mark “upspeak,” imagine she is instead stating it as a fact and banging on the table.
Yeah not a compliment
Women are often subjected to compliments that intentionally or belittle them - like when Joanane spent hours getting ready for a television news interview, only to be told by a senior executive that she looked “cute.”
Solution: Would you say it to a man? If not you probably shouldn't say it to a woman either.
She’s pretty sure you don’t respect her
Researchers have found that men get more respect than women even if they hold the exact same position.
Solution: Be on the lookout both large and small, and adjust your own behavior. Joanne speaks of writing an early draft of this book and speaking of a female doctor using her first name, and a male doctor as “Doctor.” She corrected herself and will not let it happen again.
Don’t decide for her
When a new opportunity comes up, Joanne has often heard senior executives say that a female candidate would be ideal, but she has a new baby at home would not want to travel...or she has young kids and would not want relocate or to take on the extra hours.
Solution: Don't assume. Ask her even if she declines, present the next opportunity, and the one after that. Joanne states that the same thing happened to her when she had young children and to keep the work life balance she declined, but later when her kids were older she took the position and excelled.
Don’t be afraid of tears
Barbara Annis and John Gray, co authors of the book Work With Me: The 8 Blind Spots between Men and Women in Business, identify emotion as one of the major pitfalls men face. Fear of tears can lead male managers to hold back from giving women honest feedback they need to progress.
Solution: If you are a manager, check your employee reviews to ensure you evaluate men and women equally. Joanne writes that women cry from frustration, in situations where perhaps men would just yell.
She’s ready for raise, but she won't ask for it
Men are four times more likely to ask for a raise than women - and when women do ask they typically request 30 percent less than men, according to a Carnegie Mellon study.
Solution: If you are a manager take a look that you are not just rewarding the squeaky wheel. Compare salaries through online platforms like glassdoor and salary.com. Several states require salary audits and they are announced publicly.
Hire women your mom’s age
That catchy headline on a NYT op-ed by Sally Koslow, a former editor in chief at McCalls, perfectly captures the conundrum of older women. Many either quit or took lesser “mommy track” roles when their children were young. But as the kids fly the nest, women have as much ambition as ever and are eager to rev up their careers.
Solution: Hire them! Better yet, help structure work so you don't lose them in the first place.
Personal Note: My last assistant was a mom returning back to the workforce and has been one of the best employees I have ever had! Once my company is big enough I plan on hiring her back again! SE you are the best!
She deserves a promotion -- she just doesn’t know it yet
Men are far more likely than women to raise their hands for big promotions, whether they are ready for it or not. Companies including google, meanwhile, have found that qualified women often don't nominate themselves.
Solution: Make sure qualified women are in the mix, whether they have their hands up or not. Be prepared to twist a few arms. You have to get into the pool to swim.