Book review of "Thats What she said" by Joanne Lipman

Book 12/26 Leader are Learning series.

No, it is not Michael Scott from the TV show The Office finding a sexual innuendo in everything someone says or prepares and interaction to have the opportunity come up. It is a great book for any leader to read and understand women make a workplace better and there is evidence to prove it.

The sign of a good leader is to also be a good follower. I have been incredibly lucky to follow great female figures in my life and some of them were my leaders at work. I have been lucky enough to follow Christine Cobuzzi at DHL, Diane Abril at Mako, and Christine Clark at Stryker/Mako. I have also had the great pleasure of working alongside great female leaders and classmates like Danielle Armstrong, Melissa Lennon, Erin Dwyer, Lorraine Stanhope-Hirschberg, Jill McNair, Jennifer Smit, Patty Quinn McAuley, Fran McDaniel, Simi Naschel, Esther Sim, Ashlee Fuglio and many others. I have also had the opportunity to lead Natasha Siegel, Sue Ellen Morris, and a few others.

Whether it is in marketing products, services or building a new team, women make it better. However, many workplaces are not equal for female employees and many times women are underpaid and under-recognized for their accomplishments and tasks they perform. They are also stigmatized about certain gender-specific roles and questioned as to whether they can handle the work life balance of the job and family. Why is this question only being asked to women? If an employer asked a male employee that question would they be offended? I’m sure the reaction would be based on the man's Emotional Intelligence, but it should not be asked in the first place. Also, do you see women being interrupted during meetings?  What do you do? Here are some key tips and takeaways that author Joanne Lipman put in the back of the book as a cheat sheet to help any leader succeed in the workplace and have a more gender equal and friendly environment for everyone.

1. Interrupt the interrupters

   1. The data show that even Supreme Court Justices are interrupted regularly by male counterparts, so how do we stop it now?

      1. Solution: Institute a “No interruptions” rule for everyone. Also, if a woman is cut in the conversation, cut off the interrupter.

2. Use amplification and brag buddies

   1. Womens’ ideas often are not heard - until they are repeated by a man who gets the credit.

      1. Solution: Amplify the original speaker, meaning if a woman has a great idea amplify it and make sure she gets credit and vice versa for the male counterpart brag buddy.

3. Diversify the interviewers, not just the applicants

   1. More companies are adopting a Rooney Rule for the office, requiring a diverse slate of applicants for job openings, but bringing in female applicants is only a first step.

      1. Solution: Mix things up by adding to the Rooney Rule by adding to a more balanced panel with female interviewers.

4. She’ll help your bottom line

   1. Women are often boxed out of jobs or promotions because they aren’t “a good fit” or they are dismissed as “diversity hires” who are assigned a lower standard.

      1. Solution: Marshall the facts. Adding women makes work groups more creative. Companies with female CFO’s make fewer, better acquisitions than male counterparts. Firms with more female board members outperform those with the least by almost every financial measure. Mixed groups can even solve a murder more accurately than single sex groups... If you want a recipe for success, add women.

5. She’s not “sorry,” she’s not “lucky,” and she’s not asking a question

   1. Researchers have found women use qualifiers (“Sorry to bother you, but…) to make themselves less threatening to others. If they do act assertively they are penalized for it, considered bossy, bitchy, or difficult to work with.

      1. Solution: Women are highly aware of these verbal tics and try to control themselves. But if they don't, just remember the next time a woman ends a sentence in a question mark “upspeak,” imagine she is instead stating it as a fact and banging on the table.

6. Yeah not a compliment

   1. Women are often subjected to compliments that intentionally or belittle them - like when Joanane spent hours getting ready for a television news interview, only to be told by a senior executive that she looked “cute.”

      1. Solution: Would you say it to a man? If not you probably shouldn't say it to a woman either.

7. She’s pretty sure you don’t respect her

   1. Researchers have found that men get more respect than women even if they hold the exact same position.

      1. Solution: Be on the lookout both large and small, and adjust your own behavior. Joanne speaks of writing an early draft of this book and speaking of a female doctor using her first name, and a male doctor as “Doctor.”  She corrected herself and will not let it happen again.

8. Don’t decide for her

   1. When a new opportunity comes up, Joanne has often heard senior executives say that a female candidate would be ideal, but she has a new baby at home would not want to travel...or she has young kids and would not want relocate or to take on the extra hours.

      1. Solution: Don't assume. Ask her even if she declines, present the next opportunity, and the one after that. Joanne states that the same thing happened to her when she had young children and to keep the work life balance she declined, but later when her kids were older she took the position and excelled.

9. Don’t be afraid of tears

   1. Barbara Annis and John Gray, co authors of the book Work With Me: The 8 Blind Spots between Men and Women in Business, identify emotion as one of the major pitfalls men face. Fear of tears can lead male managers to hold back from giving women honest feedback they need to progress.

      1. Solution: If you are a manager, check your employee reviews to ensure you evaluate men and women equally. Joanne writes that women cry from frustration, in situations where perhaps men would just yell.   

10. She’s ready for raise, but she won't ask for it

    1. Men are four times more likely to ask for a raise than women - and when women do ask they typically request 30 percent less than men, according to a Carnegie Mellon study.

       1. Solution: If you are a manager take a look that you are not just rewarding the squeaky wheel. Compare salaries through online platforms like glassdoor and salary.com. Several states require salary audits and they are announced publicly.

11. Hire women your mom’s age

    1. That catchy headline on a NYT op-ed by Sally Koslow, a former editor in chief at McCalls, perfectly captures the conundrum of older women. Many either quit or took lesser “mommy track” roles when their children were young. But as the kids fly the nest, women have as much ambition as ever and are eager to rev up their careers.

       1. Solution: Hire them! Better yet, help structure work so you don't lose them in the first place.

          1. Personal Note: My last assistant was a mom returning back to the workforce and has been one of the best employees I have ever had! Once my company is big enough I plan on hiring her back again! SE you are the best!

12. She deserves a promotion -- she just doesn’t know it yet

    1. Men are far more likely than women to raise their hands for big promotions, whether they are ready for it or not. Companies including google, meanwhile, have found that qualified women often don't nominate themselves.

       1. Solution: Make sure qualified women are in the mix, whether they have their hands up or not. Be prepared to twist a few arms. You have to get into the pool to swim.

Book 10/26 Leaders are learning series; 10% Happier by Dan Harris

As a leader how do you handle stress and anxiety?

My mother always told me “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger”. I agree 100% but not everyone is raised like this or built to handle stress and the mantle of leadership the same way.

In my humble opinion I have been thrust into the world of leadership from an early age. I was the first born of three in a home where my father worked a lot and whether I liked it or not I had to be the man/Big boy of the house early on. Helping with my brother and sister as we grew up. Playing sports I was either selected as leader of a team or in the military always placed in leadership roles

I admit I had a few anxiety attacks when I was young that caused me to have trouble breathing. It could also be the stress of being a kid but who knows. Then as I grew I found sports as great outlet for stress and my anger. I knew I had anger issues so I gravitated towards contact sports like boxing, football, hockey, and rugby. I would immerse myself in these sports and relieve the stresses of the day to get through it.

In college I worked full time while being in the Army reserves and running a retail store with 30-50 employees. The stress was mounting but sports were there to even me out. Then as I worked in high pressure B2B sales and eventually medical device sales it became more and more difficult even with my schedule to use these sports to release the pressure valve. I saw myself getting more and more angry and stressed. I would be up at night thinking and ruminating on the events of tomorrow. Do I have enough people on my team for case coverage, do we have the implants we need is everything going to go the right way? I would be planning like a chess match many steps ahead. The lack of sleep was literally killing me, because many times I had to pull over and take naps on the side of the road so I would drive into the guard tails or off a cliff.

Then I remembered a library class from high school where we meditated. I remember it well because we all laid on the ground and focused on our breathing and imagined ourselves as tanks filled with water. On each breath more and more water would leave our bodies and we would relax our heads, shoulders, chest and so on until we reached our toes. It was very relaxing and this memory trigger prompted me to start meditation again.

This started me down my meditation path, before reading this book. I have been doing this for years, but a suggestion for a book recommendation from friend is always a good idea to take you never know what you will learn.

The book spoke more about Dan’s journey as a local anchor person to working at ABC and having a panic attack on air. From there he talks about his journey as a combat correspondent in Iraq and Afghanistan Post 9/11. During these tours in combat zones he became accustomed to the excitement and adrenaline, so when he came back to the states he started using Cocaine to help bring back the endorphins of a combat zone. After he came down from these rushes he became depressed and anxious of things he could not control.

Eventually he found meditation and with it he feels 10% happier. So how does this book help Leaders well it is no secret that leaders are generally under a lot of stress, so how do you deal with it. If this is your first opportunity to lead maybe you are not used to stress and don’t know how to handle it. Ancient warrior like the samurai used meditation regularly to maintain balance and so should you. Part of my discipline regime is meditation.

• Wake up 0530

• Workout 30-45 mins

• Meditate -5mins

• Read with morning coffee 30mins

• Shower

• Get to work!

Adding this small part to my day help regulate me and get my day started. I sometimes add in again at the end of the day to help me sleep. Hey you never know this small addition to your daily routine could make you 10% happier too.

Coaching to be a Better Leader

Recently my 6-year-old son started wrestling for our school club team. He has been involved in a few sports as we are trying to introduce him to as many as possible while he is young. He is moving towards liking a few of them and is asking for exposure to more. This has been great but I have a hard time staying out of the coaching realm. I played and coached Men's Rugby for a few years and enjoy transferring my skills to other players. I never wrestled, I played football, ran track, and I boxed until I started playing Rugby. My wife would like me to be more involved in my son's sports, but the timing has always been difficult.

In 2018 I have made the move to be an Entrepreneur starting and working fulltime on a few ventures at the same time. My business partners and I started www.RTBlimited.com a Training and Business consultancy company last year, and this year another friend approached me about starting www.DermRT.com a radiation therapy solution for skin cancer. I also help my mother with her business Magnolia House Honey This has given me a greater appreciation of time-management skills which I feel like I have gained over the last few years. It has also given me more time to spend with my son as he took on wrestling. Wrestling has a lot of the same body position and control as Rugby so it was difficult for me to stay on the sideline. Needless to say, I did get involved early and helped coach my son and his friends this season. They did great but I also learned a great deal about leading and coaching.

As a leader, it is important to always coach your team to be better than you are or to transfer the info you have to them so they can evolve as members of your team. Being involved with my son's team help reinforce that perspective as we learned the basics of wrestling and I added what I learned to from rugby to help them grow. It also showed me that when coaching whether as a technical expert or seasoned professional it's important to teach or coach your team like its the first time they are hearing this info and to break it down to simple terms and grow onto it as they become more proficient.

The overall message here is to be a better leader it's important to coach and teach on a regular basis. This helps you with not only operational efficiency as you grow and it gives you the ability to set up a decentralized command structure within your team. You are creating the next set of leaders on your team, not the replacement for your job. This has been reinforced in an HBR article stating that delegation and leading require coaching as well.

Learn more from our RTB LImited Team by scheudling a quick call here

Reading is Fundamental

If you grew up in the lates 70's to early 80's like I did you grew up on Saturday morning cartoons and TV Shows and of Course PBS. Sesame Street and in 1983 PBS launched Reading Rainbow starring Lavar Burton. Most remember him from Reading Rainbow and Star Trek. However what we learn from Reading Rainbow is that Reading is Fundamental for growth in your field as it is explained in this HBR Article.

In the article, the author changed his lifestyle by removing his TV from the main living area and it took the temptation away to watch TV and read more. So he has read 50 books last year and this year is on track for 100. My goal is 26 in 2018. This is a minor goal but I am determined to read more and broaden my horizons and find a new way to inspire people to take a deeper look at themselves and how they can live and lead a better life.

In my journey so far, I have compiled a scattered list of books to read, and truthfully many are recommendations by others who have had great experiences with the books. Many are military books, or books about leadership, entrepreneurship and sales and marketing. All these subjects I am passionate about and looking to grow further in. Then there are a few that help me grow as a Human Being if your interested take a look at what is left on my list for 2018. Be on the lookout for my thoughts on the books and how they can help you as a leader, Teammate, and person! www.Rtblimited.com/blog

Past

1. The Starbucks experience - Joseph Michelli 
2. Moving up to medical sales - Michael a Carroll
3. Give and take - Adam grant 
4. To sell is human - Daniel pink
5. Grit - Angela Duckworth
6. Art of war - sun tzu 
7. Closing techniques - Stephan Schiffman
8. Boost your interview IQ- Carole Martin 
9. Business writing and communicating - Kenneth Davis
10. Mind manipulation- Dr. Haha Lung
11. The first 90 days - Michael Watkins 
12. Legacy - James Kerr 
13. . Leadership and 1 min manager - Ken Blanchard 
14. The happiness advantage - Shawn anchor 
15. Social selling- Tim Hughes
16. Extreme ownership - Jocko Willink
17. Beyond return on investment- Pam arlotto 
18. The trusted advisor - David Maister 
19. . Freakonomics - Stephen dinner 
20. Lone survivor - Marcus Luttrell
21. Supervisors portable handbook - George fuller

Rest of year

1. Rise and grind - Daymond John
2. Book of five rings - Miyamoto Musashi
3. Go-Giver - Bob Burg
4. The leadership challenge - James kouzes, Barry posner
5. Creating the high-performance team- steve buck holtz
6. Soar with your strengths - Donald Clifton 
7. Cash flow quadrant - Robert Kiyosaki 
8. Winning when outgunned and outmanned - Gen. Hal Moore 
9. Selling the invisible - Harry Beckwith
10. Mastery - Robert green
11. The book of joy- Dali Lama 
12. About face - Col. Hackworth
13. Thinking fast and slow - Daniel Kahneman 
14. The four tendencies- Gretchen Rubin
15. 10% better- dan Harris
16. money- Tony Robbins
17. Flawless Consulting - Peter Block
18. Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
19. The tax and legal playbook - Marc Kohler
20. Crushing It - Gary Vanderchuck
21. The CEO Next Door - Elena L. Botelho, Kim R. Powell
22. Alive at Work - Daniel M. Cable
23. In Defense of Troublemakers - Charlan Nemeth
24. That's what she Said - Joanne Lipman
25. Big Potential - Shawn Achor
26. Great at Work - Morten Hansen
27. The Culture Code - Daniel Coyle
28. Lean Startup - Eric Ries
29. Principles - Ray Dalio
30. Exactly What to Say - Phil M. Jones
31. 12 Rules for Life - Jordan Peterson
32. The Four Tendencies - Gretchen Rubin
33. Blue Ocean Strategy - W. Kim Chan

How do you grow?

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How does one grow, as a leader, athlete, or student? You put yourself in an uncomfortable environment or situation. So what do I mean by that?

As a leader, you need to expose yourself to new ideas thought processes and situations. Studies show that when a leader is faced with adversity the true metal of that person shines through. All of these things will help you grow. Ideas and input from other team members who have a different perspective than your point of view. They might operate on a different level and are boots on the ground or can offer insight that you are not seeing. What do you do with that information?

You should digest it, analyze it and use it to make a decision on what to do next. Ask yourself this question will this insight help us grow as a company, team or cohort? Will this new insight help our overall goals to increase sales, retain talent, reduce expenses, score more points, or get a better grade? The only way to find out is to hear this idea, technique or habit and see if it aligns with your overall goal or mission. 

As an athlete, this growth through adversity or uncomfortable situation could be a different training method workout or thought process.  The data show that athletes especially benefit from getting outside your comfort zone. Many times as an athlete taking input from a coach or teammate can help build that relationship, but again they have to be willing to take that input and be uncomfortable in the situation to grow. 

i truly believe that stepping outside the secure life and comfort of life makes us better in a great many situations. Try it and see what happens.

Find out how you can grow in whatever you are doing talk with someone on our team to learn more.