Taking ownership of mistakes

HI Everybody. It's Paul here and I am putting out my leadership and business and sales tip for the day.

This actually has to go back to more ownership than anything else, right? So when you're a leader, you should always take ownership. And even if you're not the elected leader and you have some leadership ability and you end up changing people's minds and how you do things, then I think that's a important and how you lead and do things right.

So at the end of the day, being a leader is taking ownership when you make a mistake or you don't succeed because ultimately the, the mantle falls on you. So how or why is this important?

About 15 years ago we were playing rugby for old blue my old rugby club in NYC. We ended up making it to the Division One championship playoff round, a sweet 16. And, and, uh, we ended up going to a Worcester Massachusetts to play in the first round of the playoffs. And Lo and behold, we beat the Boston Irish wolfhounds. And when we did, I took it upon myself, which was probably a huge mistake at the time to convince a fair amount of people on the team to go to Boston and celebrate. And we did, but we paid for it in spades and next day, right? The next day we ended up losing to, I believe it was Worcester, the local team who was hosting. And we never should have lost to them. They should have easily beat them. Um, but because a good two thirds of the starting 15 were hammered and hung over from the night before, um, it didn't, we didn't do well.

There was a thread last week, um, from a bunch of my friends I played with at the time complaining about that loss. And I said I would take ownership because I do feel responsible because I kinda rallied the troops and said, hey, let's go to Boston. Let's go celebrate. And we did, but we lost. Right. So in the way the rankings work, if we would've won, uh, that second game, it was a very good chance we would have been, in I think the top four in the country, uh, and we would've had a much better seating and we would have had a better chance to make it to the elite eight and then the finals and potentially win a national championship. So to this day, it's been bothering me and been eating me up inside. So I really wanted to put it out there and say, I take responsibility.

I said it last week in the post and I'll say it right now publicly, I don't really care cause I know it was probably my fault. Now other people have to take responsibility for themselves. They went. But, I feel responsible because I should have been a better leader and said, hey, we need to stay here and hunker down for the night and get ready for the game tomorrow. But no, we didn't. So we ended up going out. And so it's important for this, and I think it's in every aspect that you do, whether you're doing your, you're running a company, you're, you're leading a team, you're growing a business or you're selling a product or service that you take ownership when you make a mistake. Hey, I promised you that this deliverable, would he be here this day? And it didn't show up on time.

That's my fault. I take ownership even though I had delegated out to somebody else. It really is my responsibility. And the reason it didn't work out the way it should have. So at the end of the day, I think we need to understand that leadership is a dichotomy, right? Is an up and down and good things and bad things will happen. Good things happen, that you put it out in a team and say, hey guys, you did a great job. When bad things happen, it falls back on your shoulders and you need to carry that weight. So I've been carrying that weight and I really wanted to apologize to my teammates. Again, it's a long time ago, but there's a lesson here, right? And the lesson is that you take ownership and you, when you're a leader, you take ownership of things that you do bad. Um, and even if it's indirectly not your fault, but you still feel responsible, then you take it.

And that's what I did. So that's what I'm doing right now. So you can do that with everything you do, right? So think about your Business Unit, right? And Your Business Unit is responsible for deliverable. The deliverable is a project and you have your team working and at some point you might get pulled in a different direction and the team doesn't answer the call or fill the deliverable at the right time, then, it falls on the wayside and you don't produce, right? So, you know, what do you do then that's your fault, right? You're the leader. You need to take that responsibility, jump on that grenade. As a medic, we ultimately like to, um, help other people, right? And sometimes that is what I'm trying to do with that hubby get, move forward and move beyond what happened 15 years ago again. But when people constantly bringing up year over year and you're like, I need this, I need to say something.

So I'm saying it right now and I think this is the best way to say it, right? You say it out publicly, you tell everybody it is what's going on. Here's what happened. This is my, I feel responsible for this. I think this was my fault. And that's it. So you know, you'd live by these, I guess he's called tenants of leadership, right? Loyalty, duty, respect, honor, integrity, courage. Right? So these are the things that I live by and I feel like if I didn't get this out and put it out into the world, and great social media is for this, this is what social media is for, right?

You say this is what happened. This is what I'm doing. This is why I put this out here. And that's what it is. I love my teammates. I love what I did with old blue. I feel responsible. So I'm taking shit and that's it. Thanks Christopher Wilkins for putting this out here on me and telling me, hey, you should take responsibility. And now I am and Keeler and Cooper, Davies, and anybody else who was on that team. I'm sorry guys. We had a great squad and I made a mistake, but at the end of the day, I still have nothing but love for you guys.

So anyway, everybody have a great day. Get after it every day, ring the bell, cheers. Abrams out!

Book 10/26 Leaders are learning series; 10% Happier by Dan Harris

As a leader how do you handle stress and anxiety?

My mother always told me “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger”. I agree 100% but not everyone is raised like this or built to handle stress and the mantle of leadership the same way.

In my humble opinion I have been thrust into the world of leadership from an early age. I was the first born of three in a home where my father worked a lot and whether I liked it or not I had to be the man/Big boy of the house early on. Helping with my brother and sister as we grew up. Playing sports I was either selected as leader of a team or in the military always placed in leadership roles

I admit I had a few anxiety attacks when I was young that caused me to have trouble breathing. It could also be the stress of being a kid but who knows. Then as I grew I found sports as great outlet for stress and my anger. I knew I had anger issues so I gravitated towards contact sports like boxing, football, hockey, and rugby. I would immerse myself in these sports and relieve the stresses of the day to get through it.

In college I worked full time while being in the Army reserves and running a retail store with 30-50 employees. The stress was mounting but sports were there to even me out. Then as I worked in high pressure B2B sales and eventually medical device sales it became more and more difficult even with my schedule to use these sports to release the pressure valve. I saw myself getting more and more angry and stressed. I would be up at night thinking and ruminating on the events of tomorrow. Do I have enough people on my team for case coverage, do we have the implants we need is everything going to go the right way? I would be planning like a chess match many steps ahead. The lack of sleep was literally killing me, because many times I had to pull over and take naps on the side of the road so I would drive into the guard tails or off a cliff.

Then I remembered a library class from high school where we meditated. I remember it well because we all laid on the ground and focused on our breathing and imagined ourselves as tanks filled with water. On each breath more and more water would leave our bodies and we would relax our heads, shoulders, chest and so on until we reached our toes. It was very relaxing and this memory trigger prompted me to start meditation again.

This started me down my meditation path, before reading this book. I have been doing this for years, but a suggestion for a book recommendation from friend is always a good idea to take you never know what you will learn.

The book spoke more about Dan’s journey as a local anchor person to working at ABC and having a panic attack on air. From there he talks about his journey as a combat correspondent in Iraq and Afghanistan Post 9/11. During these tours in combat zones he became accustomed to the excitement and adrenaline, so when he came back to the states he started using Cocaine to help bring back the endorphins of a combat zone. After he came down from these rushes he became depressed and anxious of things he could not control.

Eventually he found meditation and with it he feels 10% happier. So how does this book help Leaders well it is no secret that leaders are generally under a lot of stress, so how do you deal with it. If this is your first opportunity to lead maybe you are not used to stress and don’t know how to handle it. Ancient warrior like the samurai used meditation regularly to maintain balance and so should you. Part of my discipline regime is meditation.

• Wake up 0530

• Workout 30-45 mins

• Meditate -5mins

• Read with morning coffee 30mins

• Shower

• Get to work!

Adding this small part to my day help regulate me and get my day started. I sometimes add in again at the end of the day to help me sleep. Hey you never know this small addition to your daily routine could make you 10% happier too.